Needless to say we were appalled with the judges’ ruling to eliminate Ms. Lawless in the first round of last night’s Literary Deathmatch, which was hosted by Mr. Todd Zuniga and a beautiful redheaded woman (we didn’t catch her name). The consensus in the crowd was that Lawless’ writing was superior.
We hereby challenge the guy from 30 Rock who was judging to an acting/literary deathmatch rematch with Ms. Lawless. The rules are thus:
1) Ms. Lawless and the guy from 30 Rock each perform a scene from Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct 2. They may read from a script, and extras will be supplied as necessary from the audience.
2) Ms. Lawless and 30 Rock guy then each read a poem they have written.
3) The two contestants then compete in a surprise physical challenge.
4) Judges (James Lipton, Alice Quinn, and Tiffany Pollard, star of VH1’s I Love New York) rule in the acting, poetry, and physical categories.
5) Winner receives one drink ticket.